WHILE YOU’RE WAITING

There is something about waiting in general that makes it unexciting and difficult. Be it waiting for a bus at a bus stop, waiting to be served at a restaurant, waiting to transact in a bank or even waiting for a traffic jam to end. There’s a certain uneasy feeling that seems to accompany it.

Well, it’s the same for waiting for the right time to date. In my article on THE RIGHT TIME TO DATE-FOR SURE (http://wix.to/06l68hq?ref=2_cl) I argued that as long as there is a right time to date, then there certainly is a time to wait. I realized that many things account for why this particular waiting time seems so unbearable. Apart from all the strong emotions you feel sometimes as well as the many examples of dating couples all around you, there are many rhetorical questions that are usually asked and sadly, there seem to be no answers too. “How will I know I have met the person? How long more do I have to wait? When I eventually start dating, is it okay to date for long or a short period of time?” are but a few.

However, I discovered that the uneasiness that accompanies waiting is there because we focus so much on the painful experience of how long we’d have to wait. But one day I thought to myself, “how about focusing on what productive things we can do while waiting since we’d have to wait anyway?” That was certainly a light bulb moment!

The uneasiness that accompanies waiting is there because we focus so much on the painful experience of how long we’d have to wait.

The key to gain during your waiting period is to decide to make the waiting period count by harnessing your energies in doing the right things. Doing that will surely make you win on every side. Dr. Myles Munroe once said that waiting is like being a waiter at a restaurant, you serve throughout that season. And I agree with him completely. In his book, Attitude Is Everything, Keith Harrell shared an experience I want to share with you. He said,

I woke up and realized I was running late. I had to get to the airport to catch a flight. I drove seventy-five to eighty miles per hour to Hartsfield International. I run up to the ticket counter and told the clerk I was running late: “Quick, I’ve got to catch the plane to San Francisco. Tell me the gate number.” “You’re going out of Concourse D. You’ve only got fifteen minutes,” he said, “I don’t think you’re going to make it.” I’m not going to make it talking to you, so would you please give me my ticket! I snatched the ticket and started running. I got through security. In the Atlanta airport, there’s a train you have to catch to get to the concourse. I was running so fast I didn’t have to catch the train. I wasn’t just running, I was talking to myself too. “Come on, you’ve got to go. You can’t miss this flight. You’ve got to get there”. I was moving. I hit the escalator and never stopped running…When I finally reached the gate, I noticed that the plane was still there. An airline agent was at the gate. “Excuse me, ma’am,” I said, “I run all the way from the ticket counter. Did I make it?” “We just got a phone call, the plane’s going to be two hours delayed.” I looked at her and I said, “That’s OK. I’m positive and proactive…As I started to walk away, I saw another gentleman come up behind me and approach the counter. He appeared to be a top level executive. He said, “Excuse me, ma’am, is the flight leaving on time?” She told him they were having mechanical difficulties and that the flight would be leaving in two hours. He became angry: “Mechanical difficulties! Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m a million miler, flying colonel. I know the CEO personally. I want to speak to your supervisor right now.” A supervisor in a nice red jacket appeared. This guy argued with her for thirty-five minutes. Can you guess what time the plane left? Two hours later. This fellow had another choice. He could have accepted the delay and make constructive use of the time.

You know what Keith did while waiting for the plane to take off? He bought and ate a good meal, he bought a great book and read the first chapter, he spoke to his grandmother on phone for fifteen minutes and the remaining time was spent interacting with one of the passengers at the gate while he ate popcorn, something he really loves. Just when he sat by this passenger, the passenger asked Keith why he looked so happy when they have been waiting for an hour and half, with thirty minutes more to wait. And this was Keith’s reply,

“Let me give you three reasons. This flight is delayed either because there is something wrong with the plane, something wrong with the weather, or something wrong with the pilot. In case any of those three scenarios are true, I’m happy to be sitting here talking to you. I’d rather be here wishing I was up there than to be up there wishing I was here,”

Wow! What an attitude! Just like this amazing experience, how exciting and productive your waiting period will be is up to you. Your complaints and murmuring will do nothing to change the waiting period. You have a choice to make. You can either choose to be too worried about it, complain and approach this season with a bad attitude making wrong decisions in the process, or you can choose to approach it with a good attitude by doing constructive things that will make your waiting period worth it and make your life better. In The Ten Commandments Of Dating book authored by Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams, Ben Young wrote,

“If you don’t have a life of your own, you won’t be happy even if you date, fall in love and get married. Why? Because you will have nothing to give to the relationship, and you will drain your dating partner (or spouse) completely dry.”

I don’t think you want your story to end that way, right? In my article on WAITING AND GAINING I suggest 5 things you can do as you wait for the right time to date. Instead of reacting to this season the way many people would, choose to respond to it by doing things that will help you gain as you wait.